My grandmother, Busia, as we called her in our big Polish family, had eleven children and thirty three grandchildren. Having thirty two cousins, it takes a lot to stick out in the crowd but for me my cousin Sharon is that person. I find her journey fascinating because it is a route completely unplanned in the life of someone who thought they had it all planned out.
Sharon was ready to take the corner office. "Dressed for success" as she calls it and all business. Starting as an intern after high school graduation, Sharon took a position with RSI the company run by her father, my Uncle Chet. Once Sharon graduated from college, she planned on moving into the corporate sector and the offers began to come in. The first of many unpredicted re-directions in her life, RSI wasn't willing to give her up and at age 26, Sharon became the first female and youngest owner of the now70 year old company. She was moving fast toward her goal of financial gain. Looking toward moving out to the Detroit upscale suburbs, Sharon had a picture of what she thought life would look like, until she met Joe, a country boy from Tennessee living in Taylor, Michigan (an area of metro Detroit that is a sort of rural bubble outside the Motor City).
Joe's first gift to her was a fishing pole and in her words she was "hooked." When she married Joe, Sharon took on another unexpected role as step mother to Joe's daughter, Rebecca (Becky). Motherhood was not exactly on her radar but to Sharon it was a gift and a privilege and her relationship with Becky came naturally. "I met Rebecca when she was 8 months old. The first time I ever laid eyes on her I really think I fell in love with her. She was the sweetest, prettiest, little brown eyed girl I ever saw. I dated Joe and doted on Becky." Within a couple months of marrying, Joe and Sharon received full custody of Becky. They purchased 10 acres of rural land and thought "possibly, someday" they would build on it. She also acquired a dirt bike and a shotgun compliments of her outdoors-man husband. Sharon continued to satisfy her corporate side, eventually becoming the CFO and working at RSI along side her Dad until his retirement in 1996. Life was moving along but within a few years, her plans would change again dramatically.
She recalls one of the most "tragic times in her life" as also the most "triumphant." On May 20th 1997, her father passed away unexpectedly. It blind sided Sharon and the stress began to affect her health. But it wasn't just stress that was taking its toll on her physically, on July 28th of that same year, she received the diagnosis of
Multiple Sclerosis. Soon after on August 20th, her biggest turning point came when she made the decision to become a Christian. A midst so much pain and uncertainty, Sharon recalls, "I have never felt joy like that before." From that point, Sharon's perspective and world changed forever. Besides her newly strengthened faith, that land that they purchased for "maybe someday, well, it would become one of her strongest lifelines.
Facing a debilitating diagnosis and a full-time parent to a young daughter, Sharon remained focused on her family and her beliefs. "Becky was just finishing up 4th grade when I got diagnosed with MS. I did the best I could to not pass my fears onto her, and she was still little enough that she did not fully understand the impact." Sharon sold her interest in the company and they built and moved to what is now "Shady Acres." "When I was diagnosed, I was devastated and scared. I went into prayer, and the Lord put before me the means and people that made it possible for me to manage my disease naturally." Sharon made the decision to treat her illness holistically with nutrition and faith. She does not take any
pharmaceuticals used to treat MS. "Since the drugs offered little hope, and there is no cure, I chose to make everything else as healthy as I could. I avoid artificial ingredients. Since 1997 I have not ingested (*knowingly) any artificial sweeter or hydrogenated oil (trans fats). The last diet pop I had was on my day of diagnosis. I use butter. The regular stuff. I rarely fry anything. I eat mostly venison (wild caught) and chicken." Sharon has quite a garden out at Shady Acres. Under the shade of their peach and apple trees, she and Joe raise their own chickens and grow fruits and vegetables. Sharon giggles about her "country" life and enjoys her fresh eggs nearly each day and freezes much of the produce they grow. She supplements her diet with Vitamin D, is an expert in reading labels and is continually adjusting her diet as research and food production continue to evolve. "I have removed the newest "artificial" sweetener which is high fructose corn syrup from my diet. That is a toughie. It is in nearly everything. Now, I try my best to avoid GMO (
genetically modified food)." There is a lot of discussion about GMO's out there and in Sharon's belief the bad out ways the good. For her, it is far more beneficial to put in the effort and diligence to keep the effects of MS at bay.
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| Scrappy Scarlett in Action |
The disease of MS is physically debilitating but it is also ravaging to the spirit and Sharon pays close attention to where her priorities are and treats her mind and soul equally as vigilant. "I do whatever I can to avoid stress. I read the Bible daily and I pray. By the Grace of God, I was able to reduce my work from 50 hours a week to 10." Work looks different for Sharon these days. Yet another twist in her well laid plan came with the discovery of a new hobby that became a business and an outlet for her to release mentally. In 2001, Sharon reluctantly attended a scrap-booking party with a friend. The invitation included a request to bring 8-10 pictures of the same subject matter. Sharon's mother, Mary had recently passed away. She grabbed the envelope containing the photos she had recently contributed to the families memorial board and went to the party. The first page she ever created was for her late mother and before she knew it she left with an entire kit and within three months signed on as a consultant with
Creative Memories. It was something to fill her time while Joe was working afternoons at Ford Motor Company, never intending to be a career move. That was 11 years ago. Sharon's job as a consultant is a perfect fit for her. It feeds her need to have interaction with others and if you know Sharon, you know she has never met a stranger. Always approachable with a warm smile, and much like her father, she enjoys people and loves a good story. "My passion is scrapping and paper crafting. I get in the zone. It brings me joy and peace, especially when I am able to share it with others. It is one of the blessings that came out of my diagnosis."
"All of this together is how I fight the battle with MS. I am careful to not "over-do" it, I rest and relax when I required. I am surrounded by a loving family, friends, and a peaceful environment." Much of Sharon's success managing her life and her illness can be credited to Joe. Sharon declares openly that Joe is the love of her life. She sees the happy irony in the way her life with Joe is from the one she envisioned as a young college girl. "Joe took me from the city, plopped me into the country, and now I find myself feeding chickens." They share laughter and a priority to keep things simple and in perspective. "He is very easy to talk to and capable of doing most anything if given the chance. I marvel at his energy. He loves to be outside, even in cold temps. I offered to purchase him a wood-splitter once for Christmas, and he said no way, as long as I can swing an ax, I am going to split all the wood by hand." They build on each others strength and determination always looking forward to the future but appreciating the little daily joys.
So, whats the latest plan for the folks at Shady Acres? Several years ago they purchased a larger 100 acre piece of land nearby, called Scarlett's Farms. In the past they have share cropped the land, and this year Sharon and Joe are planting their first crop of
Non-GMO seeds. Sharon and Joe continue to enjoy watching Becky blossom. "I think she has grown into a lovely wonderful young lady, that I am very proud of, and that has been an overall joy." In their down time they travel in search of water and sunshine. Mostly for fun but also with therapeutic benefits, as the winters in Michigan can be long and sunshine at a minimum.
I always ask the same questions at the conclusion of each of my interviews: "If you had five minutes to speak to the world, what would you say?" "The Christian side of me would say, accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. Read your Bible, it is your love letter from God. Count your blessings, and be thankful for them daily. The scrap-booking side of me would say, scrapbook them! The memory book is a way of focusing on your blessings. It puts the perspective on the positive things in your life. Be forgiving to your family and friends. Life is too short to hold grudges. It is really not necessary to dwell on the negative things in your life. Decorate your life. Be authentic." You certainly never get the sense that Sharon is lacking or that she has given up any part of her dreams for the future. She has found a formula to create balance that affords her a strong marriage, family and a satisfying career.
What struck me about my interview with Sharon was that all of her answers were about being adaptable and embracing the change. Are there bad days? Sure, when we "healthy" folks hop out of bed in the morning we don't give it a second thought but for people with MS that task may be as difficult as climbing a mountain most days. Throughout my interview there was never a mention of the negative, except for the initial shock of her diagnosis. I expected an answer like, "I have good days and bad days." There was no such comment, ever. It's as though she doesn't accept it. It is out of the question to pay MS any credence. "I have been blessed by things I never thought would happen to me, and I look and say WOW, I would have NEVER have planned that, but hey, it worked out wonderful!" And as for all that planning? Well it still continues, but with a very important difference than the way most of us plan. When life shifts her plan Sharon just creates a new one with determination and positive attitude. Its not a back up plan or a plan B, it becomes "The" plan. "I know that the Lord has strategically placed me physically and spiritually where he wants me to be." Her favorite scripture sums up how she approaches life: "Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths."
(Proverbs 3:5-6, NKJV) Well, Scrappy Scarlett, THAT sounds like a plan!
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